I found the strangest thing the other day. I had just escaped from the noise of the city streets into the relative silence of my own one bedroom apartment. As per usual, I hung my coat up, put my keys on the hook, and was reaching for the phone when I noticed that the message light was blinking. Ming Palace would have to wait. After two or three messages from frantic patients, all claiming that they would die without my immediate attention, I came across a message from my mother. I pressed the delete button. Whatever she had to say I had already heard a dozen times before. The only person I wanted to hear from would never call me. He couldn't.
Half an hour later, I was sitting at my kitchen table, facing an empty chair and chowing down on greasy Chinese take-out. Thank God Ming's is within walking distance. By the time I'd finished eating it was ten at night. In lieu of anything better to do, I decided to go to bed. Just as I was about to turn in for the night, I saw a strange blue flash from the top of the refrigerator. Since my fridge was perpetually empty, I opened up the door so I could use the unit as a step ladder. Using this method, I could stretch my arm as far as my five foot five frame would allow me to and hopefully...got it! When my hand returned to my side, I was surprised at what it contained. A small blue stone, almost gray if you were to squint at it, but definitely blue when examined under my harsh kitchen light. Flat and sharp on one edge, the stone could have been sea glass except for the strange ink that formed a symbol on the side that was now facing up, sitting in the palm of my hand. It looked so familiar and yet...my mind was too frazzled to think up a logical explanation for the stone's debut on the top of my refrigerator. I went to bed.
Sitting in my over-stuffed office after a monotonous morning of patients that ran together into one, loud, whimpering being, I dare to take out the stone again. This time something catches my eye that was not evident upon my initial discovery of the stone. A small hole, so tiny that it has not grabbed my attention until now. And now...I have to know what it is.
A necklace. This was my first thought, my first guess at what it could be. But if I had guessed correctly and it was part of a necklace then where did I get it? I would never consider buying it for myself. And who was there to buy it for me? A boyfriend? I haven't had one in ages, let alone a serious one. A coworker? I own a private practice. The only coworker I have is the receptionist. And she can't be more than twenty three, and not to mention a total ditz. More important than the question of where I got it is the question of why I had found it perched atop that unused appliance. I know for a fact that it couldn't have been left by prior tenants. For one, I have been living in that same apartment for almost sixteen years. And, if I remember correctly, I bought the refrigerator for the apartment.
So next up to bat is Ms. Miller. A boring name to match her equally uneventful existence. No husband, no kids, dull job doing who knows what. No wonder she's depressed. I know I should not be so harsh with my patients, but who can blame me? They're all pathetic. And I'm...no. It's their problem, not mine. That's why they come to see me. I have got to stop thinking like that. Now back to this stone business before Ms. Miller shows for her appointment. I only have a few minutes more alone with my thoughts.
I am now convinced that it is not a necklace. Perhaps it is meant to be a charm. Some silly good luck token that people try so hard to believe in. But then the hole doesn't fit. It must be something that a guest left. Yet...that still doesn't answer why it was where it was. I don't have a pet that could have carried it up there. No child with an affinity for throwing things. This is going to drive me insane. How ironic. Oddly, I just remembered what I used to tell myself when things got tough. "You can't know everything." This was back in college with the papers and the tests and the stress that came with them. Seems applicable here. But there was a second part to this saying, almost a mantra of sorts that I used all those years ago. It seems to me that it went something like: "You can't know everything, Put it out of your mind." Yes! That's it. Put it out of your mind. Why think about something any longer if it will cause you stress or discomfort? And that's what I'll do now. Put it out of my mind.
Subject: Out of My Mind by WaywithWords 
Sun Jul 13, 2008 2:41 pm
